佚名/Anonymous
I watched the old man's fumbling fingers as he slowly counted out t he coins,one by one.I was all but dancing with impatience in the check out line and sighed with exasperation.Hearing me,he smiled apologetica lly-a tiny smile of humiliation at being feeble and holding up the worl d's business.
Then I became contrite.Putting myself in his shoes,I realized that someday they might pinch my feet.I too,could become dependent on the k indness of strangers.I patted his frayed sleeves."Take your time," I said,"there's no hurry."
It occurred to me how often I had acted impatiently-honking my horn the instant the light changed,speaking sharply to someone slow to under stand.Did it matter?It did.When you're impatient,you're apt to be rude.And such behavior is counter-productive,making people angry or st ubborn or uncooperative.
I decided to try becoming more patient and to develop various approa ches for calming myself in stressful situations.I can't claim that the se techniques transformed me into a model of patience,but they have hel ped me eliminate some impatience from my life and control most of it.
A friend had passed the interviews for an important new job;all tha t remained was for the president of the company to meet his wife.
At six,my friend and his wife were in the tunnel on their way into New York for a seven o'clock appointment.At seven,they were still in the tunnel,stuck behind an overturned tractor-trailer.When they finall y reached the president's hotel,he had gone,leaving no message.He wo uld not accept an explanation the next day."You should have planned fo r delays," he said.
Impatient people don't like to waste time,so they cut things too c losely.They budge the exact number of minutes that a journey or task sh ould take,not allowing for the possibility of delay or the unexpected.It is better to provide a margin for error.The more important your appo intment is,the more time should be allotted.When an appointment absolu tely can't be missed,it pays to allow ridiculous amounts of time.
Not setting a coveted job is calamitous,but the consequences of bei ng held up are seldom that serious.They are not worth getting impatient.
I've learned to ask myself,"What's the worst that can happen?"If the answer is that I'll miss the opening credits of a movie or the s tart of a ball game,I calm down.Will I even remember next week that I was ten minutes late today?Putting matters in perspective should ease y our impatience.
One evening as an acquaintance was leaving for a weekend trip,her c ar wouldn't start-and three friends were waiting to be picked up on a street corner.She had no way of getting word to them;they were cold an d miserable and worried when she arrived an hour late.Since hearing her predicament,I've always arranged to meet people where they or I can be reached in case of delay.It enables me to be far more patient when thin gs go wrong.
Waiting in airports is one of the most trying features of modern lif e.I was watching torrential rains streak the windows at Raleigh-Durham International Airport one morning when a man came up,took a word game f rom his pocket and asked if I wanted to play.We played with pleasure fo r the four hours our plane was delayed.Near us,a man worked on his lap top computer.One woman went through a stack of catalogues methodically,turning down the corners of the pages,filling out order blanks.The mos t impatient people-the ones who prowled the waiting area and complained loudly-were those who had nothing to do but put coins in the vending ma chines.
I now assume I'll encounter a delay,so I always carry a paperback.A friend works crossword puzzles.
A man I knew was always racing impatiently into the future.If we me t for a drink after work,the first thing he talked about was where we'd go for dinner;at dinner,he rushed through dessert to get to a movie;at the movie,he was on his feet before the last frame faded.And in the car on the way home,he was making plans for the next day,next week,ne xt year.
Never did he live in here and now.Consequently,he couldn't enjoy life.
I've come to appreciate that life has its own timetable.It takes n ine or ten months to make a baby,21 years to make an adult.It takes a long time to become a good violinist or downhill skier.It also takes ti me to become a success and even more time to become a success as a perso n.
Perhaps the last thing for controlling impatience is to examine your own contribution to it.Are you unwilling to grant children time to lear n,or slow people time to accomplish a task?If impatience is only occas ional,your annoyance will pass.But if you're almost always irritable and abrupt,you may well feel that you're just too important to ever be kept waiting for anyone or anything.
You're not,of course;none of us are.If we can accept that the wo rld is ours to enjoy but not made for our convenience,we'll be better able to move through it equably,more patient with the ordinary vicissit udes of life and a good companion to our fellow human beings and to ours elves.
老人慢慢地數著硬幣，一個，兩個……我盯著他顫抖的手指，惱怒地歎著氣，不耐煩地在結賬的隊伍裏晃著身子。聽到了我的歎息聲，他抱歉地笑了笑——那是一種羞愧的笑，是一種因自己的衰弱耽誤了社會事務而內疚的笑容。
那一刻，我後悔極了。我想，終有一天自己也會像他那樣，需要陌生人的善意。於是，我拍了拍他磨損的衣袖，說：“別急，慢慢來。”
接著，我想起了自己很多次都缺乏耐心——綠燈一亮就按喇叭，尖刻地批評反應慢的人。缺乏耐心有什麽大不了的嗎？是的，這樣不行。不耐煩時，你很容易表現的粗魯，這種行為會引起他人惱火、固執或不合作等不良結果。
於是，我決定耐心點，也想出了在緊迫情形下能使自己平靜的種種辦法。我不敢說這些方法會讓我脫胎換骨，耐性十足，但至少它們能幫我消除生活中的某些煩躁，並在大多數場合控製住情緒。
容許稍有差錯
一個朋友通過了一份重要工作的麵試。為了以防萬一，還需讓公司總裁與他的妻子見個麵。
6點鍾時，朋友和他的妻子進入通往紐約的隧道，趕赴7點鍾與總裁的約會。7點了，他們還被困在隧道，前方的路被一輛翻倒的拖車堵住了。當他們趕到賓館時，總裁已經走了，沒有留下隻字片言。第二天，他也不聽任何解釋，隻是說：“你們應該考慮到路上可能會有事情耽擱。”
沒耐性的人不願浪費時間，所以他們把任何事都安排得過於緊湊。他們精確計算著每次旅行的行程和一次任務所花的時間，根本不考慮發生耽擱或意外情況的可能性。我們最好為差錯留出餘地。要趕赴的約會越重要，就越要把時間安排充裕。如果某個約會極為重要，那就很值得花時間了。
要換個角度來看問題
理想的工作沒有爭取到確實很遺憾，但很少有特別嚴重的事是因延誤造成的。因此，我們也不必煩躁不安。
我懂得這樣問自己：“最壞可能會發生什麽？”如果最壞也隻是錯過電影開頭的演員表演部分或是球賽的開場，我就會使自己平靜下來。今天遲到了10分鍾，下周我仍會記得嗎？換個角度看問題就能消除急躁的情緒。
要提前規劃好一切
一天傍晚，我的一個熟人準備周末外出旅行，但汽車發動不了——與此同時，她的三個朋友正在街角處等著她來接，她又沒法聯係上他們。當她一小時後趕到時，焦急萬分的朋友們已經凍得瑟瑟發抖，可憐兮兮。她的尷尬經曆讓我領悟了一些道理，在這之後，我總把約會安排在易於聯係的地方，以防發生意外情況而延誤。這樣，我就能在事情出錯時，還能保持耐心。
要提前做好準備
現代生活中，最折磨人的事情莫過於在機場候機。一天清晨，在羅利—達勒姆國際機場，我正看著雨水沿玻璃窗奔流而下。這時，一個人走了過來，他從口袋裏掏出一份猜字遊戲，問我想不想玩。在飛機晚點的4個鍾頭裏，我們興致勃勃地玩著猜字遊戲。旁邊的一位男士在用手提電腦工作。一位女士慢條斯理地瀏覽了一大疊目錄，並把頁腳折記上，填好訂購單。最沒耐性的人在候機區裏踱來踱去，而那些無所事事、隻會往自動售貨機裏投幣的人則在那裏大聲地抱怨著。
而今，我總假定路上有耽擱情況，所以，我總會帶上一本書，朋友則總帶著填字遊戲玩。
要享受當前時刻
我認識一個人，他總是急不可待地做下一件事情。工作之餘，如果我們要一起喝喝酒，他首先會問我們到哪裏吃飯；吃飯時，他倉促地吃下點心，就匆忙趕往電影院；電影最後一幕還未結束，他就起身離開了；開車回家路上，他就為第二天、下周乃至明年做計劃了。
他從未活在當前時刻，便也享受不到生活的樂趣。
我已經領會到，生活有其自己的時刻表。孕育一個孩子需9個或10個月，把他撫養成人則需21年。要成為一名出色的小提琴手或滑雪運動員，需要相當長的時間。取得成功也需要時間，而要成為一名成功人士，則更是一個漫長的過程。
或許，控製急躁情緒的最後一招是確定這種情緒是否來源於自身。你是否不願給孩子一些時間去學習呢？或者，對於行動遲緩的人，你根本不想給他完成工作的時間？如果你隻是偶然沒耐性，那麽，你的煩惱就會即刻煙消雲散；如果你總是易怒，可能是覺得自己最重要，自己的事情重於一切。
當然，你沒有那麽重要，誰也不會那麽重要。假如我們能接受這一點——世界是供我們細細品味，而不是為我們提供方便的——我們就能過得更加平和，也會對生活中的點點滴滴更有耐心。於是，我們就會成為他人——也是自己的好夥伴。
1.Then I became contrite.Putting myself in his____,I realiz ed that someday they might pinch my feet.I too,could become dependent on the kindness of strangers.I patted his frayed sleeves "Take your____,"I said,"there's____hurry."
2.I've____to appreciate that life has its own timetable.It____nine or ten months to make a baby,21 years____make an adul t.It takes a long time to become a____violinist or downhill skie r.It also takes time to become a success and even____time to becom e a success as a person.
1.我想，終有一天自己也會像他那樣，需要陌生人的善意。
2.理想的工作沒有爭取到確實很遺憾，但很少有特別嚴重的事是因延誤造成的。
3.當然，你沒有那麽重要，誰也不會那麽重要。