佚名/Anonymous
Why are so many people so afraid of failure?Quite simply because no one tells us how to fail so that failure becomes an experience that will lead to growth.We forget that failure is part of the human condition an d that every person has the fight to fail.
Most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting th eir children from the knowledge that they have failed.One way is to low er standards.A mother describes her child's hastily made table as "Pe rfect"!Even though it wobbles on uneven legs.Another way is to shift blame.If John fails science,his teacher is unfair or stupid.
The trouble with failure-prevention devices that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world.The young need to learn that no o ne can be best at everything,no one can win all the time-and that it's possible to enjoy a game even when you don't win.A child who's not invited to a birthday party,who doesn't make the honor roll or the bas eball team,feels terrible,of course.But parents should not offer a qu ick consolation prize or say,"It doesn't matter." because it does.T he young should be allowed to experience disappointment-and be helped t o master it.
Failure is never pleasurable.It hurts adults and children alike.Bu t it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it.Step one is to ask "Why did I fail?" Resist the natural impulse to blame someone else.Ask yourself what you did wrong,how you can improve.If someone else can help,don't be shy about inquiring.Success,whic h encourages repetition of old behavior,is not nearly as good a teacher as failure.You can learn from a disastrous party how to give a good one,from an ill-chosen first house what to look for in a second.Even a fa ilure that seems definitive can prompt fresh thinking,a change of direc tion.After 12 years of studying ballet a friend of mine auditioned for a professional company.She was turned down."Would further training he lp?" she asked.The ballet master shook his head."You will never be a dancer," he said,"You haven't the body for it."
In such cases,the way to use failure is to take stock courageously,asking "What have I left?What else can I do?" My friend put away her toe shoes and moved into dance therapy,a field where she's both compet ent and useful.Failure frees one to take risks because there's less to lose.Often there's a resurgence of energy-an awareness of new possibi lities.
為什麽那麽多人害怕失敗呢？很簡單，因為沒有人告訴我們怎樣去失敗，所以失敗成了引導我們成長的經曆。我們忘記了失敗是人類社會的一部分，每個人都有戰勝失敗的鬥誌。
很多家長在努力避免失敗的同時，也在避免讓孩子知道他們失敗了。達到此目的的一種方式是降低標準，孩子草草製作的桌子被母親稱為“完美”。要知道，桌子還放不平穩呢！另一種就是把責任推給別人。約翰自然考試不及格，他的父母就把責任歸於老師不公平或愚蠢。
這些避免失敗的措施，會讓孩子在真正麵對現實生活時，不知所措。年輕人需要懂得，沒有人能事事都做到最好，沒有人常勝不敗——比賽即使輸了，還是可以享受過程。孩子沒有被邀請參加生日聚會，不在優等生之列，或沒被選入棒球隊，會感覺很糟糕，那是當然的。家長不應很快給予精神鼓勵，或說“不要緊”，因為這確實很要緊。應該讓年輕人去經曆失望，並幫助他們走出失望的陰霾。
失敗從來不會令人高興，它傷害了大人，同樣也傷害著孩子。一旦你學會如何去利用失敗，它就會對你的生活起到積極作用。第一步就要問“為什麽我會失敗”，要消除潛意識裏把責任推給別人的想法，問問自己做錯了什麽，怎樣加以改進。如果有人能幫助你，就去向他求助，不要不好意思。失敗是一位好老師，而成功並不這樣，它隻會使人們重複過去的做法。一場糟糕的聚會，可以讓你學會怎樣去組織一場成功的聚會；一次失敗的買房經曆，可以讓你學到怎樣去選擇一所好房子。就算是徹底的失敗也能激發創新的思維，讓自己重新選擇方向。我的一位朋友學了12年芭蕾，她去一家專業培養演員的公司試鏡，被淘汰了。她問：“專業的訓練會有效果嗎？”芭蕾老師搖了搖頭，說：“你永遠成不了舞蹈演員，你沒有那種身材。”
這種情況下，就要利用失敗正確地估量自己，勇敢地問自己：“我還有哪些潛力？我還能做些什麽？”於是，我的朋友扔掉芭蕾舞鞋，轉而從事舞蹈療法——一個她能勝任並能發揮潛能的領域。既然已經沒有什麽可以失去，何不放手一搏？失敗反而經常令人神采奕奕——使人看到希望。
1.Most____work hard at either preventing failure____pro tecting their children from the knowledge that they have failed.One____is to lower standards.A mother describes her child's hastily mad e table____"Perfect"!Even though it wobbles on uneven____.
2.You can____from a disastrous party how to give a____o ne,from an ill-chosen first house____to look for in a second.Eve n a failure that seems definitive can prompt fresh thinking,a change of direction.After 12 years of____ballet a friend of mine auditioned fo r a professional company.
1.我們忘記了失敗是人類社會的一部分，每個人都有戰勝失敗的鬥誌。
2.應該讓年輕人去經曆失望，並幫助他們走出失望的陰霾。
3.既然已經沒有什麽可以失去，何不放手一搏？失敗反而經常令人神采奕奕——使人看到希望。
1.But it can make a positive contribution to your life once you lea rn to use it.
make a contribution to sth：為某事作準備；對……的貢獻
2.She was turned down.
turn down：減少；關小；拒絕