佚名/Anonymous
We chase after it,when it is waiting all about us.
"Are you happy?" I asked my brother,I an,one day."Yes.No.It dep ends on what you mean." he said.
"Then tell me," I asked,"when was the last time you think you were happy?"
"April 1967." he said.
It served me right for putting a serious question to someone who has joked his way through life.But Ian's answer reminded me that when we th ink about happiness,we usually think of something extraordinary,a pinn acle of sheer delight-and those pinnacles seem to get rarer the older w e get.
For a child,happiness has a magical quality.I remember making hide-outs in newly cut hay,playing cops and robbers in the woods,getting a speaking part in the school play.Of course,kids also experience lows,but their delight at such peaks of pleasure as winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved.
In the teenage years the concept of happiness changes.Suddenly it's conditional on such things as excitement,love,popularity and whether t hat zit will clear up before a prom night.I can still feel the agony of not being invited to a party that almost everyone else was going to.But I also recall the ecstasy of being plucked from obscurity at another eve nt to dance with a John Travolta look-alike.
In adulthood the things that bring profound joy-birth,love,marria ge also-bring responsibility and the risk of loss.Love may not last,s ex isn't always good,loved ones die.For adults,happiness is complicat ed.
My dictionary defines happy as "lucky" or "fortunate," but I think a better definition of happiness is "the capacity for enjoyment." The more we can enjoy what we have,the happier we are.It's easy to overlook the pleasure we get from loving and being loved,the company of friends,the freedom to live where we please,and even good health.
I added up my little moments of pleasure yesterday.First there was sheer bliss when I shut the last lunch-box and had the house to myself.Then I spent an uninterrupted morning writing,which I love.When the ki ds came home,I enjoyed their noise after the quiet of the day.
Later,peace descended again,and my husband and I enjoyed another p leasure-intimacy.Sometimes just the knowledge that he wants me can bri ng me joy.
You never know where happiness will turn up next.When I asked frien ds what made them happy,some mentioned seemingly insignificant moments."I hate shopping," one friend said."but there's a clerk who always chat s and really cheers me up." Another friend loves the telephone "Every ti me it rings,I know someone is thinking about me."
I get a thrill from driving.One day I stopped to let a school bus t urn onto a side road.The driver grinned and gave me thumbs up sign.We were two allies in a world of mad motorists.It made me smile.
We all experience moments like these.Too few of us register them as happiness.
Psychologists tell us that to be happy we need a blend of enjoyable leisure time and satisfying work.I doubt that my great-grandmother,who raised 14 children and took in washing,had much of either.She did have a network of close friends and family,and maybe this was what fulfilled her.If she was happy with what she had,perhaps it was because she didn't expect life to be very different.
We,on the other hand,with so many choices and such pressure to suc ceed in every area,have turned happiness into one more thing we "gotta have." We're so self-conscious about our "right" to it that it's making us miserable.So we chase it and equate it with wealth and success,with out noticing that the people who have those things aren't necessarily ha ppier.
While happiness may be more complex for us,the solution is the same as ever.Happiness isn't about what happens to us-it's about how we per ceive what happens to us.It's the knack of finding a positive for every negative,and viewing a setback as a challenge.It's not wishing for wha t we don't have,but enjoying what we do possess.
我們四處追逐幸福，幸福其實就在我們身邊。
一天，我問哥哥伊恩：“你感到幸福嗎？”他回答說：“可以說幸福，也可以說不幸福，這要看你指什麽了。”
“那你告訴我，”我說，“最近一次你感到幸福是什麽時候？”
“1967年4月。”他答道。
我真不該對一個遊戲生活的人提出這麽嚴肅的問題。但伊恩的回答給了我一個啟示：我們想到的幸福時刻通常是一些非同尋常的事，一種純粹的快樂——但是隨著年齡的增長，這種快樂好像越來越少了。
對一個孩子來說，幸福有著夢幻般的色彩。記得我曾在新鮮的幹草叢中捉迷藏，在樹林裏玩“警察與小偷”，在學校的戲劇裏扮演有台詞的角色。當然，孩子也有情緒低落的時候。但是，因為贏得一場比賽，或得了一輛新車，他們會毫不掩飾地快樂到極點。
到了青少年時期，幸福觀逐漸轉變。突然間，幸福就有了前提，你開始關注情緒，是否有愛，是否出名，甚至臉上的青春痘能否在舞會前消失。我清楚地記得，大家都去參加一個舞會，而我未被邀請時的痛苦。但也記得，在另一次活動中，與一個貌似約翰·特À沃爾塔的人共舞，帶給一個默默無聞的小人物的那種狂喜。
成年後，心靈深處最令人喜悅的是生育和愛情，婚姻同時也帶來了責任和安逸。愛情可能會消逝，**也不總是如意，心愛的人可能會死去。對於成人來說，幸福很複雜。
字典裏幸福的定義是“幸運”或“好運”，但我認為幸福更好的定義是“感受快樂的能力”，越知足越常樂。但是，愛與被愛，友人相伴，簡單的生活，甚至健康的體魄，這些細碎的快樂很容易被我們忽視。
我重溫了一下昨日的幸福時光，我把最後一個午餐盒飯準備好，整個家就屬於我一個人了。然後，我寫作，整個上午都沒人打擾，我很快樂。孩子們回到家，我又享受著寂靜一天後的熱鬧。
不久，寧靜再次降臨，我和丈夫享受另一種快樂——親熱。有時候，隻要想到他需要我，就能給我帶來快樂。
你永遠不會知道幸福下一次會在什麽時候出現。當我問起朋友，什麽能給他們帶來幸福時，有些人會提到一些看似微不足道的小事。“我討厭購物，”一個朋友說，“但有些健談的售貨員的確令我很開心。”另一個朋友喜歡接電話，“每次電話一響，我就知道有人想我了。”
我喜歡開車的刺激。一天，我停下來，讓一輛學校班車拐到路邊。那個司機咧嘴一笑，會意地豎起大拇指。到處都是瘋狂的飆車族，而我們倆是另類。我笑了起來。
我們都有過類似的經曆，但很少有人能意識到這就是幸福。
心理學家告訴我們，幸福既需要愉快的休閑時間，也需要滿意的工作。我的曾祖母養育了14個孩子，還要給別人洗衣服，做其他一些家務雜活。這兩樣東西她都沒有，但她有來自各方向的親密的朋友和一個和睦的家。或許，這已使她很滿足了。如果說她因自己擁有的一切感到幸福，或許是因為她並不希望生活是另一番樣子。
另一方麵，麵對太多的選擇在各個方麵都想成功，讓我們把幸福變成“必須得到”的一種東西。我們自私地以為我們有“權”得到它，這也是我們痛苦的根源。所以我們去追求幸福，並將它同財富和成功聯係起來，而沒有意識到擁有它的人並不一定更幸福。
對我們來說，盡管每個人對幸福的理解不同，但是幸福的含義是從來不變的。幸福不是發生在我們周圍的事——而是我們如何去看待周圍發生的事。秘訣就在於，我們以積極的心態麵對逆境，變壓力為動力。幸福並不是祈求我們所沒有的，而是享受我們所擁有的。