佚名/Anonymous
You are asking,"Is it possible to be married and to be free?"
If you take marriage non-seriously,then you can be free.If you tak e it seriously,then freedom is impossible.Take marriage just as a game-it is a game.Have a little sense of humor,that it is a role you are playing on the stage of life;but it is not something that belongs to ex istence or has any reality-it is a fiction.
But people are so stupid that they even start taking fiction for rea lity.I have seen people reading fiction with tears in their eyes,becau se in the fiction things are going so tragically.It is a very good devi ce in the movies that they put the lights off,so everybody can enjoy th e movie,laugh,cry,be sad,be happy.If there was light it would be a little difficult-what will others think?And they know perfectly well t hat the screen is empty-there is nobody;it is just a projected picture.But they forget it completely.
And the same has happened with our lives.Many things which are simp ly to be taken humorously,we take so seriously-and from that seriousne ss begins our problem.
In the first place,why should you get married?You love someone,li ve with someone-it is part of your basic rights.You can live with some one,you can love someone.
Marriage is not something that happens in heaven,it happens here,t hrough the crafty priests.But if you want to join the game with society and don't want to stand alone and aloof,you make it clear to your wife or to your husband that this marriage is just a game:"Never take it seri ously.I will remain as independent as I was before marriage,and you wi ll remain as independent as you were before marriage.Neither I am going to interfere in your life,nor are you going to interfere in my life;we will live as two friends together,sharing our joys,sharing our freedom-but not becoming a burden on each other.And any moment we feel that t he spring has passed,the honeymoon is over,we will be sincere enough n ot to go on pretending,but to say to each other that we loved much-and we will remain grateful to each other forever,and the days of love will haunt us in our memories,in our dreams,as golden-but the spring is ov er.Our paths have come to a point,where although it is sad,we have to part,because now,living together is not a sign of love.If I love you,I will leave you the moment I see my love has become a misery to you.If you love me,you will leave me the moment you see that your love is crea ting an imprisonment for me."
Love is the highest value in life:It should not be reduced to stupi d rituals.And love and freedom go together-you cannot choose one and l eave the other.A man who knows freedom is full of love,and a man who k nows love is always willing to give freedom.If you cannot give freedom to the person you love,to whom can you give freedom?Giving freedom is nothing but trusting.Freedom is an expression of love.
So whether you are married or not,remember,all marriages are fake-just social conveniences.Their purpose is not to imprison you and bin d you to each other;their purpose is to help you to grow with each othe r.But growth needs freedom;and in the past,all the cultures have forg otten that without freedom,love dies.
You see a bird on the wing in the sun,in the sky,and it looks so b eautiful.Attracted by its beauty,you can catch the bird and put it in a golden cage.
Do you think it is the same bird?Superficially,yes,it is the same bird who was flying in the sky;but deep down it is not the same bird-b ecause where is its sky,where is its freedom?
This golden cage may be valuable to you;it is not valuable to the b ird.For the bird,to be free in the sky is the only valuable thing in l ife.And the same is true about human beings.
你問：“婚姻和自由，二者可以兼得嗎？”
如果把婚姻看得輕鬆一些，你就可以獲得自由；如果以嚴肅的態度來看待婚姻，你絕對不可能獲得自由。把婚姻當做一場遊戲，它就是一場遊戲。人要有一點兒幽默感，那隻是你在生命的舞台上扮演的一個角色，它既不屬於存在的範疇，也不具有真實性——它隻是一部小說。
然而，人們居然愚昧地把小說當成了現實。我看到人們讀小說的時候淚流滿麵，那是因為小說裏的一切都那麽悲慘。在電影院，關掉燈是一個很好的辦法，那樣人們就會陶醉在電影中，然後哭泣、歡笑、快樂和傷心。然而，人們在開著燈的時候就很難做到了，因為其他人會作何感想呢？他們也非常清楚，銀幕中沒有人，那是空的，隻是投影下的圖像，但他們完全忘了這一切。
同樣的事情也發生在我們的生活中，很多隻需要幽默對待的事物，我們卻變得認真起來，從而問題就來了。
首先，為什麽要結婚呢？愛一個人，並與這個人共同生活——這是你的基本權利之一。你可以與某人一起生活，你可以去愛某個人。
天堂裏沒有婚姻，牧師耍了個手腕，你們就結婚了。但是為了能夠加入到這個社會遊戲中，為了不脫離社會，你需要讓你的妻子或丈夫明白：“婚姻隻是一場遊戲，不要把它看得過於嚴肅。婚姻中，我們都要像從前那樣，各自保持獨立，不妨彼此的生活。我們不要成為對方的負擔，而要像朋友一樣，分享喜悅和自由。隻要我們感覺到春天離去，蜜月結束了，我們就要非常真誠，不必再偽裝了：隻要對彼此說——我們曾經是那麽相愛，以後也會永遠感激對方，昔日美好的時光會留在我們的記憶裏，閃耀在夢中——但是，春天已經結束了。我們的路已經走到了盡頭，盡管傷心，我們仍然要分開。因為，我們現在在一起生活已經不再是因為愛了。如果我愛你，你留下來的話，我的愛對於你來說就是悲慘世界；如果你愛我，我留下來的話，你的愛對於我來說就是無期徒刑。”
生命中最珍貴的就是愛，所以愛不應該變成愚蠢的儀式。愛與自由是不可分割的，你無法選擇其中一個而放棄另一個。懂得自由的人是一個內心充滿愛的人，而一個懂得愛的人是能夠給予別人自由的人。如果對於你愛的人，你都無法給予自由，你又能給經自由呢？給予自由隻是一種責任，自由就是愛的表達方式。
不管你是否結婚，都要記住，所有的婚姻都隻是一種偽裝，隻是為了方便參加社會遊戲。婚姻的目的是為了讓雙方共同進步，而不是彼此束縛。成長需要自由，然而，過去的所有文明都忘記了，沒有自由的愛情必定會消亡。
在陽光明媚的天空中，你看到了一隻飛翔的小鳥，它看起來是如此美麗。它深深地吸引著你，於是你捉住了這隻小鳥，把它放進金絲籠中。
你認為，這隻鳥還是經來的那隻嗎？表麵上看來，這隻鳥還是天空中飛翔的那隻，然而，從深層來講，它已經不是了。因為，天空沒有了，它的自由又何在呢？
對你來說，這隻金絲籠也許很寶貴，然而，對於這隻小鳥來說，它是沒有價值的。對一隻小鳥而言，在天空中自由飛翔是它生命中唯一有價值的事物。對人類而言，道理也是一樣。