卡·麥卡勒斯/Carson McCullers
First of all,love is a joint experience between two persons-but th e fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience of the two people involved.There are the lover and the belov ed,but these two come from different countries.Often the beloved is on ly a stimulus for all the stored-up love which has lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto.And somehow every lover knows this.He f eels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing.He comes to know a n ew,strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer.So there is only one thing for the lover to do.He must house his love w ithin himself as best he can;he must create for himself a whole new inw ard world-a world intense and strange,complete in himself.Let it be a dded here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring-this lover can be man,woman,child,or indeed any human creature on this earth.
Now,the beloved can also be of any description.The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love.A man may be a doddering great-gran dfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Chee haw one afternoon two decades past.The preacher may love a fallen woman.The beloved may be treacherous,greasy-headed,and given to evil habit s.Yes,and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else-but that d oes not affect the evolution of his love one whit.A most mediocre perso n can be the object of a love which is wild,extravagant,and beautiful as the poison lilies in the swamp.A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased,or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll.Therefore,the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.
It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be love d.Almost everyone wants to be the lover.And the curt truth is that,in a deep secret way,the state of being beloved is intolerable to many.Th e beloved fears and hates the lover,and with the best of reasons.For t he lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved.The lover craves a ny possible relation with the be loved,even if this experience can caus e him only pain.
愛，首先是兩個人共同體驗的——但這並不意味著他們的感受有何相似之處。愛，分為兩種，即愛與被愛，施愛者和被愛者分屬於不同的世界。被愛者常常是激發了施愛者在內心貯存了很久的**，對於施愛者，這一點他很清楚，因為他常能感到靈魂深處愛的孤寂，這是一種前所未有的、陌生的孤寂，正是這種認識，讓他痛苦萬分。因而，施愛者也隻有一種選擇，即盡量將愛深埋於心，重塑一個全新的內心世界——一個強烈、陌生，完全屬於他自己的世界。這裏所說的施愛者不一定指為買結婚鑽戒而努力存錢的小夥子，它囊括了男人、女人、孩子，或者說是全人類。
同樣，被愛者也可以是任何類型的人，最怪異的人也可能被人深愛著。步履蹣跚的曾祖父可能依舊愛著一個陌生女孩，那個20年前在奇豪街頭見到的女孩；牧師可能會愛上一個風塵女子。被愛者可能是背信棄義、油嘴滑舌之輩，或是染上很多惡習的人。當然，像其他人一樣，施愛者同樣也清楚地看到這些——但是，這絲毫不會影響他的愛意。如同沼澤地裏的毒百合，一個普普通通的人也會有一場瘋狂、放縱、奢華、色彩斑斕的愛，一個善良的人可能會有一場粗暴而低劣的愛，語無倫次的瘋子也可能會給某人帶去溫柔而淳樸的浪漫情愛。因此，愛的價值及其品質取決於施愛者自身。
正因為如此，在愛與被愛之間，很多人寧願選擇前者，而不是後者。當然，人人都想成為施愛者，粗略地說來，很奇怪的是，很多人竟無法隨被愛的狀態。被愛者有很明白的理由對愛者又怕又恨，因為愛者始終設法想把被愛者看得一清二楚。愛者渴望與被愛者有一些關係，即使這樣做隻會讓自己痛苦。