陽光穿透畢業的日子

第21章 愛是青澀的梅子 (7)

字體:16+-

"It wouldn' t have worked out, you know." she said.

"How can you be sure?" I countered. "Ah, colleen, it might have been grand indeed—my Irish conscience and your Jewish guilt!"

Our laughter startled people at a nearby table. During the time left to us, our glances were furtive, oblique. I think that what we saw in each other repudiated what we' d once been to ourselves, we immortals.

Before I put her into a taxi, she turned to me. "I just wanted to see you once more. To tell you something." Her eyes met mine."I wanted to thank you for having loved me as you did. " We kissed, and she left.

From a store window my reflection stared back at me, an aging man, with gray hair stirred by an evening breeze. I decided to walk home. Her kiss still burned on my lips. I felt faint, and sat on a park bench. All around me the grass and trees were shining in the surreal glow of sunset. Something was being lifted out of me. Something had been completed, and the scene before me was so beautiful that I wanted to shout and dance and sing for joy.

That soon passed, as everything must, and presently I was able to stand and start for home.

我記得,當時的陽光灑落在她的發絲上。她轉過頭,我們四目相對,在那間吵鬧的五年級教室裏,我感覺到了一些東西,覺得心底遭到了一擊。我的初戀就此開始了。

她叫雷切爾,我從小學到中學一直很迷戀她,看到她,我的心就怦怦地跳,有她在時,我說話就有些結巴。我就像夏日裏一隻不幸的小昆蟲,被一扇窗前微弱的燈光吸引,在黑暗的夜晚徘徊在她的窗前。

當看到她上學或是放學回家,走在林蔭小路上時,我整個人就呆住了,她看起來總是那麽鎮定自若。在家時,我回想著與她的每一次邂逅,一想到自己的不足之處便心生懊惱。即便如此,當我們正值青春年少時,我仍然感受到她對我深情的寬容。