One of the hardest things about forgiveness is making that first move especially when you haven’t spoken to the person who hurt you for a while. But remember they’ll probably be happy to hear from you. They might even be impressed that you’ve done what they’ve wanted to do for years. But keep in mind you’re doing this for you just as much as them， so don’t be upset if they don’t react as you hoped.
Of course， some people don’t believe they’ve done anything wrong， or don’t care， so telling them you forgive them would only frustrate them and you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t find forgiveness in your heart. In fact， that’s what true forgiveness is letting go of your anger and hurt， becoming at peace with what happened and moving on.
The more you nurture your resentment， the more unhappy you’ll become. Unless you learn to develop the “lost art” of forgiving， you’ll always remain a victim， not just of people who’ve done you wrong， but also of your own emotions.
Forgiving puts you in control. However tough it is， the alternative is far worse. The phrase “Forgive us our sins， though we refuse to forgive those who sin against us” doesn’t exist in the . And there’s a reason for that.
寬恕不僅在婚姻中需要，在與子女、朋友、同事、鄰居，甚至陌生人的相處中也同樣需要。事實上，缺少寬恕，人際關係就無法持續。寬恕他人不是可有可無的善舉，而是維係良性人際關係、促進身心健康的必要因素。
有些人認為，自己屢屢受創，很難寬恕傷害自己的人。然而，正是這些受傷至深的人，更急需寬恕。這看起來似乎有些矛盾，其實很簡單，就像癌症能奪去人的生命一樣，仇恨也會給人以致命的打擊。如果不盡快根除，它就會滋生蔓延，最終使那些執迷於仇恨的人命喪黃泉。
如果滿懷仇恨，心中的傷口就會逐漸潰爛，無法愈合。中國有句諺語說得好，“複仇者必自絕”。