The consequences of an unguarded communication moment are enormous. Professionals who have attained high-level positions in their organizations rarely abdicate responsibility. When they do, they incur severe consequences for their actions. When we keep the larger picture and the more costly consequences in mind, it becomes easier to see that we can never let our guards down when it comes to communicating professionally. We must constantly be aware of how each word we choose reflects our beliefs about ourselves and our responsibility in the matters at hand.
Ensuring that we are accepting responsibility with our words as well as with our actions will help us protect our professional credibility. And there’s another advantage: we’ll be modeling the behavior we want from others, encouraging them to accept responsibility for themselves.
令人厭煩的說話習慣有損你的專業可信度。我們以介詞結尾的句子為例(你把你的外套掛在哪裏?),還有交談中連續出現的口語“嗯”“啊”“噢”和其他的一些口頭語。在這裏,我們重點說一說另一種說話習慣,這種習慣在說話時會將“放棄職責也無所謂”的信息傳遞給對方。
僅僅是說話的習慣,又是怎樣反映我們的專業性,使我們疏於職守呢?讓我來舉例說明。在公司舉行的全國研討會上,我經常會問我的客戶:當你發現自己身處緊張的局麵中時,你身體方麵的反應是什麽樣的?通常,這個問題的答案都是以下幾種:
“你感覺嗓子發緊。”
“你的手掌冒汗。”
“你的心跳加速。”
現在,請注意觀察一下這些回答,看看他們是如何組織語言回答這個問題的。在問題中,我問的是“你自己的親身經曆”,但是人們在回答問題時卻用“你”代替了“我”(因此,放棄了他們的感覺責任),將回答從自己身上轉移開了。這種轉移主要是一種責任的轉移,因為這表明了他們拒絕接受自己正在經曆的東西。在這種情況下,回答者從本質上暗示了他們是在說我在這種境況中的反應,而不是在說他們。