尋找人生的坐標(英文愛藏雙語係列)

第18章 給兒子的信 (2)

字體:16+-

Remember that there is a local propriety to be observed in all companies; and that what is extremely proper in one company may be, and often is, highly improper in another. The jokes, the bonmots, the little adventures, which may do very well in one company, will seem flat and tedious, when related in another. The particular characters, the habit, the cant of one company may give merit to a word, or a gesture, which would have none at all if divested of those accidental circumstances. Here people very commonly err; and fond of something that has entertained them in one company, and in certain circumstances, repeat it with emphasis in another, where it is either insipid, or, it may be, offensive, by being ill timed or misplaced. Nay, they often do it with this silly preamble: “I will tell you an excellent thing.” or,“I will tell you the best thing in the world.” This raises expectations, which, when absolutely disappointed, make the relaror of this excellent thing look, very deservedly, like a fool.

If you would particularly gain the affection and friendship of particular people, whether men or women, endeavor to find out their predominant excellency, if they have one, and their prevailing weakness, which everybody has; and do justice to the one, and something more than justice to the other. Men have various objects in which they may excel, or at least would be thought to excel; and, though they love to hear justice done to them, where they know that they excel, yet they are most and best flattered upon those points where they wish to excel, and yet are doubtful whether they do or not.

親愛的孩子:

惹人喜歡要有必備的條件,但又是一門不易學到的藝術,很難將其歸納成規則。你自己良好的判斷力與觀察力將使你領悟比我教授給你的還要多的東西。“己所不欲,勿施於人”,據我所知,這是取信於人的最可靠的辦法。細心留意別人怎樣做讓你愉快,那麽很可能你做同樣的事也會使別人愉悅。如果別人對你的性情、興趣甚至弱點甚為關心,讓你滿心歡喜,請相信,你對別人施以同樣的熱情和關照,也一定會使他們高興。與人來往時,需順應其中的氛圍,勿矯揉造作,發現同伴的幽默之處時,就誠然開懷一樂甚至調笑一番,這是每個人對群體應具備的態度。在人前不要說瞎話,沒有比這更讓人討厭和不悅的事了。如果你恰好有一則很簡短而又相當切題的故事,可用最簡潔明了的語言敘述一番。即便如此,也要表示出你並不擅長講述,而僅是因為它實在太簡短才使你情不自禁地這樣做。