Read the article quickly and answer the following questions.
1. Did you ever praise people without trying to get something from them?
2. In your opinion what’s the most important principle of getting along with the others?
I was waiting in line to register a letter in the post office at Thirty-third Street and Eighth Avenue in New York. I noticed that the clerk appeared to be bored with the job—weighing envelopes, handing out stamps, making change, issuing receipts—the same monotonous grind year after year. So I said to myself:“I am going to try to make that clerk like me. Obviously, to make him like me, I must say something nice, not about myself, but about him. So I asked myself, what is there about him that I can honestly admire?”
That is sometimes a hard question to answer, especially with strangers; but, in this case, it happened to be easy. I instantly saw something I admired no end.
So while he was weighing my envelope, I remarked with enthusiasm:“I certainly wish I had your head of hair.”
He looked up, half-startled, his face beaming with smiles.
“Well, it isn’t as good as it used to be,”he said modestly.
I assured him that although it might have lost some of its pristine glory,nevertheless it was still magnificent. He was immensely pleased. We carried on a pleasant little conversation and the last thing he said to me was:“Many people have admired my hair.”
I’ll bet that person went out to lunch that day walking on air.I’ll bet he went home that night and told his wife about it. I’ll bet he looked in the mirror and said:“It is a beautiful head of hair.”
I told this story once in public and a man asked me afterwards:“What did you want to get out of him?”
What was I trying to get out of him!!!What was I trying to get out of him!!! If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return—if our souls are no bigger than
sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve.
Oh yes, I did want something out of that chap. I wanted something priceless. And I got it. I got the feeling that I had done something for him without his being able to do anything whatever in return for me. That is a feeling that flows and sings in your memory long after the incident is past.
There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble.
The law is this: Always make the other person feel important. John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; and William James said：“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”As I have already pointed out, it is this urge that differentiates us from the animals. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself.
Philosophers have been speculating on the rules of human relationships for thousands of years, and out of all that speculation, there has evolved only one important precept. It is not new. It is as old as history. Zoroaster taught it to his followers in Persia twenty-five hundred years ago. Confucius preached it in China twenty-four centuries ago:“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
有一次，在紐約33街區的一個郵局裏，我正在排隊寄一封掛號信，無意間發現那位負責收寄掛號信的工作人員看起來對工作很厭煩的樣子——稱信、取郵票、找零、開收據……年複一年地重複著這些單調乏味的動作。
於是，我暗暗對自己說：“我一定要讓這個人注意我。顯然，讓他注意我，我就一定要對他說一些讚美的話——不是關於我的，而是關於他的。”於是，我問自己：“他身上有哪些東西值得我稱讚呢？”
有時，這樣的問題很難有答案，特別是在麵對一個陌生人的時候。然而，巧合的是，我一眼就發現了他身上值得我稱讚的地方。這樣一來，事情就變得簡單多了。
於是當他為我稱信時，我熱情地對他說：“我真希望能有像您這樣的好頭發。”
聽了我的話，他抬起了頭，顯得有些吃驚，臉上還露出一絲由衷的微笑。
“不過，現在沒有以前的好了。”他很謙虛地說。
我真誠地對他說，盡管頭發的光澤或許比以前稍差了點，不過看上去依然很不錯。他顯得非常高興，我們開心地聊了起來。最後，他對我說：“許多人都曾誇獎過我的頭發。”
我相信，他那天吃午餐的時候肯定是心情歡暢的；我相信，他晚上回家後，肯定會跟他的妻子講起這件事；我還相信，他會站在鏡子前欣賞著自己的頭發，並由衷地說上一句：“我的頭發多漂亮啊！”
我曾經在一個公開場合講過這個故事。故事講完後有個人問我：“您希望從他那裏得到些什麽呢？”
我想從他那裏得到些什麽！！！我想從他那裏得到些什麽！！！假如我們都是如此自私，做什麽事情唯一的目的就是貪圖他人的回報，那麽我們就不會給他人帶去一絲快樂，就會吝於給他人一句真誠的讚美。如果我們的靈魂如此卑微，那麽陪伴我們的隻會是失敗和沮喪，絕不是成功和幸福。
是的。我確實想從那個人的身上得到某種東西，某種珍貴無價的東西。最終，我也確實得到了。我得到了這種感覺，在不求回報的前提下，做了一件讓他感到高興的事情。這件事過去
以後，我仍會時常想起，而且有一種曆曆在目的感受。
人類的行為中有一條舉足輕重的法則。遵守它，便能為自己帶來無盡的快樂和數不清的朋友；悖逆它，則會陷入無盡的煩憂之中。
這條法則就是：一直讓別人感覺到被重視。正如約翰·杜威先生所說的：“人類的天性中最強烈的渴望就是得到他人的重視。”威廉·詹姆斯也說過：“人類的天性中最深刻的原則就是參與。”就像我前麵指出的那樣，這種強烈的願望正是人類區別於動物的重要特征，也正是這種力量推動了人類文明。
千百年來，哲學家們始終不遺餘力地推敲著人類關係準則。經過所有的推敲發現，唯有一種至關重要的理念。這一理念並非什麽新發明，它一直伴隨著人類曆史的進程。兩千五百年前的波斯拜火教的創始人就已開始傳輸這種理念。它就是孔子在兩千四百年前所宣揚的：“己所不欲，勿施於人；己所欲者，亦施於人。”
讚美是一種激勵，可以使人信心十足，表現得比以前更好。我們每個人都喜歡被讚揚，那就不要吝嗇你的讚美，每個人身上都有閃光點，去發現並讚美它們的同時，你會發現你也變得快樂，你的生活也在改變。
Ace in the Hole
Keywords and expressions
be in charge of，take charge of，be responsible for
be in charge of管理，由……負責，對……具有掌控權。
例：He is in charge of this island.
他掌控這座小島。
take charge of開始接管，管理；照顧某人。
例：John will take charge of the next meeting.
約翰將主持下一次會議。
be responsible for對……負責，是造成……的原因。
例：The careless operation and the bad weather are responsible
for the big fire.
粗心的操作和糟糕的天氣是造成這次大火的原因。
Chucks in Practice
Translate the following sentences into English or Chinese.
1.Always make the other person feel important.
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2.人類的天性中最強烈的渴望就是得到他人的重視。
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Now a Try
試著運用be bored with, happen to, carry on撰寫150字的小短文。