Squeeze My Hand and I’ll Tell You that I Love You
瑪麗·馬爾丹特/Mary Marcdante
Remember when you were a child and you fell and hurt yourself? Do you remember what your mother did to ease the pain? My mother, Grace Rose, would pick me up, carry me to her bed, sit me down and kiss my“owwie.”Then she’d sit on the bed beside me, take my hand in hers and say,“When it hurts, squeeze my hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”Over and over I’d squeezeher hand, and each time, without fail, I heard the words,“Mary, I love you.”
Sometimes, I’d find myself pretending I’d been hurt just to have that ritual with her.As I grew up, the ritual changed, but she always found a way to ease the pain and increase the joy I felt in any area of my life.On difficult days during high school, she’d offer her favorite Hershey chocolate almond bar when I returned home.During my 20s, Mom often called to suggest a spontaneous picnic lunch at Estabrook Park just to celebrate a warm, sunny day in Wisconsin.A handwritten thank-you note arrived in the mail after every single visit she and my father made to my home, reminding me of how special I was to her.
But the most memorable ritual remained her holding my hand when I was a child and saying,“When it hurts, squeeze my hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”
One morning, when I was in my late 30s, following a visit by my parents the night before, my father phoned me at work.He was always commanding and clear in his directions, but I heard confusion and panic in his voice.“Mary, something’s wrong with your mother and I don’t know what to do.Please come over as quickly as you can.”
The 10-minute drive to my parents’home filled me with dread, wondering what was happening to my mother.When I arrived, I found Dad pacing in the kitchen and Mom lying on their bed.Her eyes were closed and her hands rested on her stomach.I called to her, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.“Mom, I’m here.”
“Mary?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Mary, is that you?”
“Yes, Mom, it’s me.”
I wasn’t prepared for the next question, and when I heard it, I froze, not knowing what to say.
“Mary, am I going to die?”
Tears welled up inside me as I looked at my loving mother lying there so helpless.
My thoughts raced, until this question crossed my mind: What would Mom say?
I paused for a moment that seemed like a million years, waiting for the words to come.“Mom, I don’t know if you’re going to die, but if you need to, it’s okay.I love you.”
She cried out,“Mary, I hurt so much.”
Again, I wondered what to say.I sat down beside her on the bed, picked up her hand and heard myself say,“Mom, when it hurts, squeeze my hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”
She squeezed my hand.
“Mom, I love you.”
Many hand squeezes and“I love you”passed between my mother and me during the next two years, until she passed away from ovarian cancer.We never know when our moments of truth will come, but I do know now that when they do, whomever I’m with, I will offer my mother’s sweet ritual of love every time.“When it hurts, squeeze my hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”
小時候跌倒了受傷後的情形，你還記得嗎？還記得媽媽是怎樣撫慰我們的傷痛嗎？在這種情形下，我的媽媽雷格斯·羅斯就會把我抱起，放到她的**，親吻我摔痛的地方。然後坐在我身旁，握住我的小手說：“痛的時候，握緊我的手，我會告訴你我愛你。”一次又一次，我握緊了她的手。無一例外的是，每次我都能聽到她說：“瑪麗，我愛你。”
我發現，有時自己假裝受傷，那樣做隻是為了得到她這樣的撫慰。盡管這種撫慰的形式伴隨著我的成長而有所變化，但是她總會找出一種方法撫慰我的傷痛，增加我生命中各個角落的歡樂。高中生活中那些艱難的日子裏，媽媽會在我回家的時候給我準備好她最喜歡的“荷西”巧克力。20歲的時候，媽媽時常會打電話給我，提議去易斯特布魯克公園野餐，慶祝威斯康星州溫暖明媚的日子。媽媽和爸爸來我家探望我之後，便會有一張手寫的感謝便條郵寄過來，那是為了提醒我：對她來說，我這個女兒是多麽重要。
然而，最令我記憶深刻的撫慰，還是小時候媽媽握著我的手說：“痛的時候，握緊我的手，我會告訴你我愛你。”
我30多歲的一天早晨，爸爸在我上班的時候打來電話。爸爸做事一向有條不紊，但那天我從他的聲音中聽出了慌亂不安。要知道，前天晚上媽媽和爸爸剛來看望過我。爸爸說：“瑪麗，你媽媽出了點兒問題，可是我不知道該怎麽辦。你盡快回來吧。”
開車到父母家的10分鍾車程中，恐懼充斥著我的頭腦。一路上，我都在猜測著媽媽出了什麽事。到家的時候，我看到父親正在廚房裏忙，而媽媽則躺在**。她閉著雙眼，雙手放在胃上。我用盡可能平靜的聲音輕喚她：“媽媽，我在你身邊呢。”
“是瑪麗嗎？”
“是的。媽媽。”
“瑪麗，真的是你嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。真的是我。”
我沒想到母親會問下一個問題，當我聽到這個問題時，我不寒而栗，無言以對。
“瑪麗，我是不是要死了？”
看到親愛的媽媽如此無助地躺在那裏，我的淚水在心裏開了閘。
我的思緒很亂，直到腦子裏閃出這樣一個問題：“如果是我這樣問，媽媽會如何回答？”
一時間我無言以對，這一刻似乎停滯了百萬年。“媽媽，我不知道您是否會死，但是如果您願意，一切都會平安的。我愛你。”
媽媽哭了，她說：“瑪麗，我痛得很厲害。”
該說些什麽呢？我又一次遲疑了。坐在母親床前，握住她的手，我聽見了自己的聲音：“媽媽，疼的話，就握緊我的手，我愛你，媽媽。”
她緊緊抓住了我的手。
“媽媽，我愛你。”
在接下來的兩年裏，直到她因卵巢癌去世，我和媽媽有過無數次握手，傳遞過無數聲“我愛你”。我們無法知道我們的關鍵時刻何時會出現，但此刻我知道，當它真正到來時，無論我是和誰在一起，我都會時刻傳遞媽媽的甜蜜撫慰：“痛的時候，握緊我的手，我會告訴你我愛你。”
1.suggest v.建議
suggest doing sth.建議做某事。
suggest後麵接從句，一般要用虛擬語氣。
例：I suggest that we should go home by bus.
我建議我們乘公車回家。
2.pass away去世
pass away是表示“去世”的委婉說法。
passed away from disease因病去世。
例：He passed away peacefully .
他安詳地去逝了。
1.Sometimes, I’d find myself_________I’d been hurt just to have that ritual with her.As I grew up, the ritual_________, but she always found a way to ease the pain andthe joy I felt in any area of my life.
2.The 10-minute drive to my parents’home_________me_________dread, wondering what was happening to my mother.When I arrived, I found Dad pacing in the_________and Mom lying on their bed.Her eyes were closed and her hands rested on her stomach.I called to her, trying to keep my_________as calm as possible.“Mom, I’m here.”