佚名/Anonymous
Irritating speech habits destroy our professional credibility. Examples of irritating speech habits are sentences that end with dangling prepositions (Where did you hang your coat at?) and conversations peppered with "ums," "uhs," "like," and other space-filler noises. We'll be focusing here on another speech habit one that sends a subtle message to listeners that it's okay to abdicate responsibility.
How can a mere speech habit keep us from reflecting professionalism while causing us to abdicate responsibility? Let me demonstrate by example. In seminars I conduct around the country, I often ask a question of my clients: What physical manifestations do you personally experience when you find yourself in a tense situation? Generally, the answer to this question is phrased in the following ways:
"You get a tight throat."
"Your palms get sweaty."
"Your heart starts to race."
Now, notice the answers and how they are phrased versus the way the question was asked. In the question I asked for what you personally experience. But the people answering my question have shifted the response away from being about themselves (thus, abdicating responsibility for their feelings) by choosing to use the pronoun "you" in place of "I". This shift of focus conveys a sense of shifting responsibility because it indicates a refusal to accept what they are experiencing. In this situation, the respondents are essentially suggesting that they are speaking for me and what I experience in these situations rather than speaking for themselves.
In these situations, I realize that the respondents are not intentionally or deliberately saying they are speaking for me. But the subtle shift in pronoun usage shifts the focus away from themselves and on to someone else. And any time we abdicate responsibility for something we're experiencing, we're damaging our professional credibility. We may unintentionally be implying to our listeners that we are refusing to accept responsibility for our actions and responses. You mean accepting or abdicating responsibility is that subtle? Yes, that subtle and that damaging to our credibility.