It's a strange phenomenon how difficult people find it to love them selves.One would think it is the easiest thing in the world,because we're constantly concerned with ourselves.We're always interested in ho w much we can get,how well we can perform,how comfortable we can be.S o with all that,why is it so difficult to actually love oneself?
Loving oneself certainly doesn't mean indulging oneself.Really lov ing is an attitude towards oneself that most people don't have,because they know quite a few things about themselves which are not desirable.E verybody has innumerable attitudes,reactions,likes and dislikes which they'd be better off without.Judgment is made and while one likes one's positive attitudes,one dislikes the others.With that comes suppres sion of those aspects of oneself that one is not pleased with.One doesn't want to know about them and doesn't acknowledge them.That's one w ay of dealing with oneself,which is detrimental to growth.
Another unskillful way is to dislike that part of oneself which appe ars negative and every time it arises one blames oneself,which makes ma tters twice as bad as they were before.With that comes fear and very of ten aggression.If one wants to deal with oneself in a balanced way,it's not useful to pretend that the unpleasant part doesn't exist,those aggressive,irritable,sensual,conceited tendencies.If we pretend we a re far from reality and put a split into ourselves.Even though such a p erson may be totally sane,the appearance given is that of not being qui te real.We've all come across people like that,who are too sweet to b e true,as a result of pretense and suppression.Blaming oneself doesn't work either.In both instances one transfers one's own reactions to o ther people.One blames others for their deficiencies,real or imagined,or one doesn't see them as ordinary human beings.Everyone lives in an unreal world,because it's ego-deluded,but this one is particularly un real,because everything is considered either as perfectly wonderful or absolutely terrible.